An Open Letter To My Daughters

Dear daughters,
I am writing this in attempt to help you understand what I go through on a daily basis. I am hoping that by giving you more information it will help you be more patient with me. I hope that by knowing this information you will be kinder and gentler with me.
When I was younger, around age 21, I was a harsh human. I woke up everyday looking to argue with anyone that would speak with me. I didn’t care about much other than myself. I made fun of the people around me. I gossiped to no end. I even took actions to get other people in trouble.
I remember a particular indecent with a manager. I was angry about having to do something that another person messed up. My manager told me to go and fix it and I went to him and told him I would not do it. We got in each others face and began yelling. I was clearly wrong because I just needed to do what my manager told me to do. I felt the need to argue with him simply because I felt above correcting another persons work. How dare he ask me to do it. Thinking back on it now it was just plain defiant for me to not do it.
 I tell you this story because I believe it was event that began to shape who I am today. There were more instances similar to the one above but there was one that really cemented me to my personality today.  That event was the divorce from your dad. We married young and were in trouble from year one. We fought our way through 13 years of marriage and finally threw in the towel in 2004. The moment that was pivotal in that decision was watching how he handled things with the divorce. Depression runs in my family but I had not felt the need to address it until 2004. I will not share the actions that led me to medicate myself but I began taking depression medicine in 2004 and followed up by visiting a therapist.
 I didn’t feel like I was gaining much insight with the therapist but I did feel better with the medicine I was taking. I stopped seeing the therapist after about six weeks and changed my medicine to better suit me. I did everything I could to focus on the two of you. I hated that I was putting you through such a traumatic experience at such a young age. Somehow I felt that things would be alright because you would have your father in your life. We now know, some 12 years later, that he is less than stellar in the father department and that won’t change. That is still something that haunts me terribly because I can’t control it.
You girls know that there are other things that I don’t control very well.  I spend when I should save. I am not sure how to fix that just yet but I am sure it is something I will address with a therapist soon. My spending problem is just once cause for our current struggle. The other reason we struggle to pay our bills is because I don’t go to work daily. This is because, as you know, I suffer from migraines and depression.
 I am in a vicious cycle that for some reason, you two don’t understand very well. I hear you say “Just get up.” or “You have to go to work no matter what.” I hear you make fun of me for not going to work and you have shared my issues with people you interact with. It hurts me to know this. You don’t have much empathy for my issues. This exacerbates my vicious cycle because I feel misunderstood. It hurts me that you don’t have more compassion for me. Please know that I  WANT to get up daily and do what I am supposed to. I want to be able to pay the bills without having to borrow money from people. I want to have money to get take you do the movies. It’s just not that easy for someone like me.  Do you really understand what depression feels like?
 Depression is the bully that you keeps me pinned down. It punches me in the chest and makes it hard to walk. Depression feels like there is a house sitting on my shoulders. It makes my mind go in all directions or be completely blank of feeling and thought. It makes me feel stuck to my bed and in our home. Depression makes push people away yet long for their return.
 I am sorry that I can’t give you what you need exactly when you need it. I am sorry that I am flippant and don’t pay attention to you sometimes. I can see the disappointment in your eyes and it hurts me to the core. I want to be a better person for you. I want you to be able to be proud of me. Please know that I love you very much and want the best for our family. I am making small changes that should result in progress.  Please don’t expect everything to be better right away. It will take time with the small changes I make.
 I hope this has given you some insight into what I go through. Please know that I love you very much and want the best for you both. You are my life!
Love Mom

Dermae Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Creme

Do you ever dread the colder seasons because of the havoc it wreaks on your skin? Do you find yourself looking for THE best lotion to take away your ashy skin? If you answered yes to either of these questions then you are in for a treat. You know I love a good skincare product and I always tell it like it is.  I got to try Dermae Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Creme and was pleasantly surprised with my results.

My Skin

I have what I call hybrid skin. My face is usually very oily. This is not a bad thing because I am sure I will age less noticeable than some. My chest and torso are normal, meaning I don’t usually need to moisturize them. My arms, legs, back, and feet need some TLC in the moisture area. I tend to notice this more in the colder months. I can actually SEE the dryness in my skin. My hands probably suffer the most and is where I need extra TLC. I normally use a brand from the drugstore shelf  and can usually see decent results.


Using Dermae Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Creme

As soon as I opened my jar of Dermae Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Creme I doubted it was going to work on my thirsty skin. The formula is very light and fluffy. I thought there is no way this will penetrate my skin and give me lasting moisture. I applied it to my feet first because I always test on my toughest spot. I slathered it on like there was no tomorrow. Bad idea! In this case, a little goes a long way. I had enough to slather on my whole leg and thigh. I continued by massaging it into my heels. I applied socks like I usually do and went on with my day. Now normally I would need to apply again before bed to keep my feet soft but I felt my heels and they didn’t need another application. I do have a love/hate relationship with my feet so I do apply moisturizer to them daily. I really want baby soft feet! Dermae Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Creme doesn’t make them baby soft but it certainly makes a difference.

I wanted to be able to really see a before and after difference so I applied the creme to one of my hands while using another brand on my hands. I can’t say that it reduced wrinkles on my hand but it was so much softer than the other hand. It looked and felt smooth and supple.

Why You Should Use Dermae

There are many reasons you should use Dermae Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Creme but I will highlight the reason I will continue to use it.

  • Cruelty, Gluten, and GMO free-means it’s good for you and our friends on the planet.
  • 100% Vegan-means our healthy friends can use it too!
  • Contains 100gms Vitamin A-means it encourages cell renewal in order to keep your skin looking young.
  • You can use it on your whole body, even your face-means less $ to spend on other creams!
  • You can purchase at most Walgreen’s for about $12-speaks for itself.

I would recommend this creme for anyone wanting youthful looking, moisturized skin. You can purchase at your local Walgreen’s Be sure to stop here and grab a coupon first.

***Thank you to Brand Backer for providing this product for my opinion. All opinions are mine.